So I’ve been trying to teach my daughters to ride a bicycle.

Because (1) they are now 6 and 8, which is way old enough to ride a bike, (2) it’s kind of a life skill (maybe not as much as swimming, but close), (3) riding is cool, and it feels lovely, and is good for you, and for the planet, and mainly (4) I have these fantasies about us going out as a family on Sundays and riding on the promenade or in the country and having great times and making memories that we will re...

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“Daddy?” Stella asks. “How did everyone in the world come from Adam and Eve? How could everyone be born from them?”

   She has just turned seven, and has been asking where babies come from a lot. I don’t know if this is what she is getting at, but if it is, I evade it, as I have been doing for a few weeks.

   “Well,” I say, “not all stories actually happened. Some are made up to teach us lessons. So some people believe that Adam and Eve were the first people on earth, and some p...

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Scenario 1:
Daughter: I want something to eat.
Mom: I beg your pardon?
Daughter: Can I have something to eat?
Mom: Pardon?
Daughter: Please may I have something to eat?

Scenario 2:
Mom: Please will you tidy your room up?
5 minutes pass.
Mom: I asked you to tidy your room up.
5 more minutes pass.
Mom: Tidy. Your. Room. The. Fuck. Up. NOW.


Kids work their way up to politeness. Parents work their way down from it. 

 

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The other night, my youngest daughter, aged 2 years 11 months, woke up in the middle of the night and called me. "Dad! Daaaaaaaaaaad!"

Her waking up in the middle of the night and calling me is not an unusual occurrence. But on this occasion the reason was. In fact, it was a never-before-used reason. She wanted to make a wee in the toilet.

Younger daughter was out of daytime nappies much earlier than older daughter. In fact, dare I say, she was positively precocious about it. But she still wear...
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